The Time of Loaves and Fishes: Update 5 from Prague

Josh Hayden
Apr 28, 2020
5 min read

This is not the age of information.

This is not the age of information.

Forget the news, and the radio, and the blurred screen.

This is the time of loaves and fishes.

People are hungry, and one good word is bread for a thousand.

-David Whyte

Our lives during the Czech Republic’s national quarantine are complex waves of emotions, often hard to articulate or understand. The abandoned streets of Prague and masked faces brought with it a feeling of isolation as we had to adapt to strict regulations. Online school in the tight space of an apartment has dealt its share of anger and shame as well. Never have screens felt more like our enemy disguised as our friend. But mostly it has been the waves of grief at losing our rhythms, our sense of “progress” in our mission here, our balance as teachers, spouses and parents. Six weeks in, we are learning that even though it feels like chaos and monotony all at the same time, under the surface our family is deepening. We have a sense that this is the time of loaves and fishes.

Through this quarantine, we are being formed by the cycle of death and resurrection. One of our worst fears as a family on a mission in Prague is that we are abandoned and adrift, merely surviving and unable to be of use to anyone. Going through Easter in quarantine has reminded us of one of our favorite sermon themes at St. B’s: “resurrection is not resuscitation.” Though we’ve been grieving the old, God is not about bringing back the old, but creating something new. Walking through ‘death’ of any sorts is what makes transformation possible. Even our surroundings have been speaking this message recently—people are emerging, blooms are appearing on trees, and everything feels different as the Czech Republic slowly lifts restrictions. Now in Easter new life abounds.

Josh is working on being present with his students in their grief. This has opened up a new dimension to teaching online. In his leadership class, he has asked his students to reflect on how they are responding to change, how they are connecting with what they most deeply care about, and how courage through fear can lead one to empathy. Every week in his composition class, Josh uses a poem to illustrate the class content. In this difficult time, he chooses poems that open up a different language for the students. He is steadily reminded that education is not about information, it is about loaves and fishes, the nourishment that comes through personal connection and relationship. Josh began meeting one on one virtually with students to talk with them about research projects, but really to connect with them and offer his experience and a listening ear. In a time like this, being seen by another is even more critical.

Online education has been a fast of sorts for Josh. It is not the same as embodied education, in style or quality. The energy of a classroom is the life force of learning and you lose most of that through screens. You can’t edit or mute in-person communication, silence is less meaningful online. In one of our favorite short stories called “The Machine Stops,” the two main characters are speaking to each other through a “plate” and one says, “I see something like you in this plate, but I do not see you.” Josh see something like his students, but he doesn’t see his students. Jesus taught, and reaches us today, through his embodied presence. As good as we can get at teaching online, and as cost-efficient as it may be, we can’t ignore its lack of embodiment.

Serving and reaching out has been even more important during this lonely and disorienting time. Josh’s leadership of a task force to help faculty members in their virtual teaching has been a wonderful opportunity to serve and encourage. The President of AAU recognized Josh and Richard (who we mentioned in our last update) as a team of “heroes” in a message to the university about the rapid transition to online that everyone had to make. This work has increased his connection with a larger number of faculty, administration and students beyond his classes. This is another way we see God moving through this time.

Anna and the kids’ weekday schedule comprises of schoolwork in the morning (it looks like schools may reopen at the end of May) and outside time at Grebovka park in the afternoon. We have missed having a backyard in the biggest way, but we have all embraced “our” beautiful park two blocks away. It has become a kind of respite, often from a frustrating morning, and has evolved into our community as we’ve met new people and “run into” friends there. The scenes of people talking across benches, kids climbing trees and making up games, and police patrolling to enforce social distancing and masks have become very familiar. Some of our best times have been playing soccer and having picnics together in the field.

It is peculiar to live in a time where place both matters and does not matter. We have “attended” services at St. Bartholomew’s in Nashville; a powerful and wonderful connection when we needed it most. Anna has been teaching ballet classes from our living room at the request of Czech dancers she met here at the dance studio. Josh was able to attend a retreat led by a good friend in Nashville last week. One of the biggest blessings of this time has been (re)connecting with old friends and community back in Nashville and elsewhere. We are grateful for all the increased Zoom and Facetime calls.

Our situation has forced us to do new things together that we might not have otherwise done. During our virtual services at St. Clement’s (our church here in Prague), we serve each other communion and each time a different child is the server. “The body of Christ, broken for you” has a wonderful beauty coming from our children. Anna has really sweet times helping Collier with his Bible assignments, but needs a physics whizz to answer all the physics questions Caleb asks her. Our four kids have bonded with each other much more than they otherwise would. We purchased clay from a pottery place and Josh teaches us sculpture techniques on Saturdays. We (well, really Josh) make biscuits and pancakes from scratch now. Simple things like sitting and talking on a park bench has become pastimes.

We are trusting the Lord in our present needs:

Financially affording plane tickets to return to the US for July (some people have offered to donate Sky Miles and if you would like to donate miles to us, please let us know)
Continued support for year two of our vocational ministry here. Online giving is here. We are so thankful for our monthly and one-time donors who are enabling us to serve.
Prayers for:

Our sanity and patience while doing school at home
Our marriage to be strengthened even more during this time
Anna’s teaching ballet and influence among dancers here
Anna’s conversations this week with a few Czech women she has been meeting with and will (finally!) get to see again this week
Josh’s service and relationships at the university, and the encouragement and return of AAU students to Prague from across the globe
A growing community of faith here including St. Clement’s church